Decadent Meanderings

blah

{ 09:47, 2009-Oct-5 } { 1 comments } { Link }

nothing changes...

you just start disintegrating. at first it is unnoticeable but years fade in and out and you don't know where you are anymore. sometimes you just want stasis. to be where you are and not have to grow anymore. no more disappointing people for saying or doing the wrong thing, no more being disappointed and having to deal with something that you can never put right.

abstract thinking is a thing of the past for present pedigree of current human crop. we are a failed species. it is salad for the mind.

there are times like now that i wish i could just disappear. or at least live in a dream world where life is fair and things are good and over three quarters of the world are not starving to death or being bombed, maimed, tortured, undignified and abused. this is hell. earth is hell. what we have made it. there will be no hell in the after life. it doesn't work that way. mankind by being so venal and corrupt has made it this way.

there is no protest in the first world. everything just washing by in self-centered pointlessness until it becomes too late and the walls have closed in all around you.

give the bomb to iran. to libya, to saudi arabia. allah blesses pakistan. blesses a.q. khan. blesses pervez musharraf. blesses general zia. blesses general gul. despises anyone who ever had an ideal of a classless society. where religion was obsolete.

iraq is death by numbers, brushed under the carpet by all. not spoken about by anyone in the media other than to celebrate the great job the west has done. the iraqis would welcome the 'liberators' with candy and flowers according to dick cheney. the troops will be pulled out of iraq says barack obama. and how brilliant it all is to lie. to be deceitful. to bullshit everyone and brainwash your victims.

fuck you all forever. fuck the dyarchy. fuck capitalism and it's whores. fuck religion and it's make believe world of corruption. fuck it all. and fuck you too.

great architect of the universe

{ 08:12, 2008-Mar-17 } { 1 comments } { Link }

whilst the global economy looks in tatters i have been thinking.

a lot.

about what unifies the universe in which we live. i used to be an atheist but i am not now. but that doesn't mean that i believe in some theocracy or other. the idea of the grand architect seems more intriguing and truthful to me. the idea that we are all connected makes a lot of sense. the reason being that in nature everything has a knock-on effect. it is the law of one. if some creature is taken out of the food chain then the next layer suffers, then the next, then the next until the whole pack of cards falls apart. the domino effect. but quite what this architect is, well, at the moment, i have a very obscure idea.

however, it is not for fear of punishment of 'sin' or whatever else the religions wail about that i believe in this unifying force. on the contrary. i believe that 'sin' and 'forgiveness' and all of those guilt-ridden ideas are purely human, all too human. when you reduce life to what it really consists of there can be no morality. nothing other than the way that life is designed. there is no karmic entity in the base sense. but there is a force of some description that needs to be balanced. at the moment i can see this is completely unbalanced in the human world. whether this is intentional or not i do not know. but i will find out.

in order to get to the materialism of marxism karl marx had to follow the progression of kant to hegel and turn geist on it's head. i can't believe however that he was atheist. it doesn't add up. especially when his whole theory is based on teleology. the end cause is the beginning and you take it all the way back to the first cause. there is something too similar to the great architect in that idea.

so although i like the idea of marxism i think that it is impossible to divorce it from a planned view of the universe. chaos does not exist other than in a controlled structured environment. sometimes it moves fast but it still adheres to a set of unified principles.

you just need to be able to see from as great a distance as possible. that is what history means.

{ 05:10, 2008-Mar-9 } { 1 comments } { Link }

what a long journey...

back in london and spent the last few hours cleaning the bathroom. groan. one of my least favourite chores. followed by doing all of my washing up and washing and then drying my clothes. surely they must be able to create a machine that can do all of these things by now. i mean they do have dishwashers but you still have to load the thing!! surely they must be able to make a robot that can just serve humanity? as long as they don't arm the robots we should be fine.

so after doing all of that necessary but severely irritating work i decided to play on my new xbox 360. it's sooooo much better than the old xbox. i feel like i am in love with it. i bought a couple of games for it and have been playing halo 3 over and over again. strangely teleporting me back to when i was about 12 and used to play on the sega megadrive. weird.

other than that i watched 'sweltering sky' with john malkovitch in it. not an amazing film but fairly watchable. debra winger is surprisingly attractive in it but the plot became very tedious after about an hour. i've got perfume to watch next and then a whole litany of nick broomfield documentaries.

i live in such a weird state at the moment. my ex is a frequent visitor to my abode. that is when she isn't falling in love with other people. her last crush was on a 23 year old woman who stole her heart. they are not seeing each other now and this has really hit hard on my ex. but i guess it shows that in terms of forging a real mutually exclusive relationship that is something that will never happen between her and i. and unfortunately at the moment she is the only person who is even slightly intimate with me. meh.

so due to the fact that my attractiveness seems to be severely on the wane i have just immersed myself in reading and reading and reading. i finished 'state of denial' by bob woodward and a book on the players in the american elections which amused me. from what i can make out hilary clinton is on the same political footing as dubya. she wants to carry on the war in iraq, which is a complete quagmire. obama will do whatever anyone wants him to do in order to get and retain power. he believes in the old alinsky dictum whereby: self interest is the only principle around which to organise people. this is the guy who endorsed the racist dick richard m daley in chicago's mayoral election. john edwards is the privileged millionaire playing to the workers. in fact the only candidate to even bother speaking about the working class. bill richardson is a complete imbecile - the democrat's very own george w bush in drag. dennis kucinich is the new age's love doll. although he does find time to oppose the iraq war between playing with his dream catcher. then there's the republicans who are just going to be beaten about by the ailing corpse of john mccain, the oldest fool in the game. he was a prisoner of war in hanoi during the vietnam war and now he has been transformed into a neo-con retard. mitt romney is just running on his father george's reputation. a pro-life bigotted simpleton. rudy giuliani just plays the anti-liberal card to at tee and unites the conservatives at their hellish campfires praying to their god moloch. fred thompson just smiles and thousands of brain dead conservative divorcees fall at his feet just wishing he was their knight in shining templar armour. and of course all of the men also wish to be his damsel in distress. sam brownback is eerily christian. a conversion by the worst kind of people: the pro-life anti-abortion brethen. who love life so much that they murder abortionists?? the guy is a complete god-whipped shyster. newt gingrich is...well, you know. thinks that he is vastly more intelligent than every other candidate, which isn't far from the truth, although it isn't much of a feat either. considering that all of the candidates merely have to echo party line or ego line on where they stand on iraq war and the war on terror it isn't really that challenging. he is considered to be the ideas man. but of course anyone can have ideas. it is whether they are of any use that counts. and of course none of his ideas have any practical implementation that doesn't complete mess up america beyond the point of no return. ron paul is being touted as some great american hero just because he is painted as some quaint 'libertarian' politician. so libertarian that he opposes gay marriage, believes states should outlaw abortion, decries high immigration rates and criticises free trade agreements. and i know a lot of people on the left thinking that he is the best candidate to choose from!?! fuck that. i'd rather vote for a gorilla than for ron paul. finally, there is embittered chuck hagel who is very pissed at the bush administration for their complete cock up in iraq. he even went as far as calling for the impeachment of george w bush! hilarious inter-republican destruction.

politics in america this year is going to come down to just three issues:

1. war on iraq
2. war on terror
3. ego of the candidate

that's it. the worst play in history.

i've also been reading about the first few years of the new labour government in britain and it is very funny. but i didn't realise that in 1997 prime minister tony blair had a 93% approval rating!!! i don't remember casting my vote then! just rigged i presume. same as with any totalitarian system. yuk yuk.

finally, i was reading lots of articles about china, iran, pakistan, and russia in the foreign affairs magazine for jan/feb 2008. some interesting points made despite being completely wrong in their assessment of china. they see it as becoming this great power just because it is doing well at the moment. it won't become a superpower though. and the reason is because it will collapse in exactly the same way that the soviet union did. it is because the articles on china are written by people without a class analysis of the country that they are making such terrible analyses and drawing erroneous conclusions. it is going through it's glasnost at the moment and when they completely open up the courts to independence along with allowing multiparty elections the system will come tumbling down and with it will go all of the state benefits that the citizens currently hold. it will become as fucked up as russia did in the 1990s. and now look at russia: it is an authoritarian homicidal maniac in the making. drunk on the power of it's energy resources.

the more i read about the current situation in world politics the more i want to do an MA or PHd in politics. or international relations. it interest me more than what i am doing at the moment. maybe i could write for the economist if i cleansed my views on socialism and capitalism? wouldn't that be a joy to behold? think of the money stupid.

anyway enough of the ramblings i am going to start watching 'perfume' and think about how much i have a crush on victoria pendleton. hmmmmm...

{ 08:52, 2008-Feb-26 } { 3 comments } { Link }

just been watching old clips of the three j's from the 60s i.e. janis, jim and jimi.

dick cavett had them all on his show. such a better interviewer than the cornball rugs that exist today. he's pissy, self-effacing, for real and realises he is in the presence of some real kool kats.

gah, watching janis joplin on there was rather saddening. wow. someone so sensitive and weak. too ethereal for this world. the kind of people that intrigue me. what do we have today? just the inverse. ego driven kunts who just sing songs about themselves or about the warm unsatisfying glow of money. it has to change.

the only reason why i bothered to learn guitar is because of hendrix. if i hadn't heard his stuff i would never have even tried. his freedom of expression is more beautiful than any guitar player since him. nowadays if you hear a guitar on a record it is always the same riff played the same way. yawn. fuck that. it's simply a way of homogenising art into commodity and i'm not into that at all. use your imagination dummies. wake up.

the attitude i loved above all was the whole kurt cobain thing whereby he couldn't give a shit if he lost all of the money he had made. he could have thrown it all away and he would have been just fine. i like that. people are too hooked up on the money and the fame. it's not about that. it's about your talent and your soul. oh what the fuck do i know? really.

then i love the punk ethic that got rid of all the musty fusty crap from the prog rockers in the 70s. but the conceit of john lydon is ridiculous. the sex pistols were not the last rock n roll band. there is no such thing. just revisionist cack. a spotty teenager who later morphed into vivian from the young ones as a symbol for everything that was intellectually lazy about punk. i can see it is just freedom of expression that runs through all GOOD music. something in it. a special ingredient that takes apart everything that is pointless and mediocre.

bill hicks had it. noel coward had it. buddy holly had it. roy orbison had it. fuck even john lennon had it (although i am loathe to admit that). it's just about being true and interesting to yourself. everything else comes from that source. meh.

{ 10:06, 2008-Feb-22 } { 2 comments } { Link }

yes it is true: i am totally obsessed with sex.

i can't believe the amount of time i fantasise about sex with strangers. it's really weird but i could be just walking down the street behind a woman and start thinking about the smooth round ass that lurks underneath those tight fitting jeans. or the large breasts heaving behind that rather slinky blouse. or when i'm on the tube and looking down and panting women and imagining what they would look like under different circumstances receiving the gift of the lord from my own dear self.

one thought i had today after watching an unusual japanese porn video of about 20 jap women dressed as school girls masturbating on their desks (serious! this was weird shit but very intriguing...) was how amusing it would be if everyone was forced to ride naked on the tube. using public transport wouldn't be quite the bore it is as of the moment. i could just about tolerate the continual train break downs if i was pushed up against a naked young woman. maybe they should perform a trial run in the summer. i could imagine how all of the dirty old men would just spend all day on the tube though. no one would get to work. apart from the dullard jobsworths of course.

anyway i blame my lustful cravings on the adverts that bombard us on a daily basis. everything is about sex because it sells. obvious. but it is strange that although we know everything there is to know about sex on such an analytical level it still shocks us. even though we have seen so many images, videos, heard so many different people fucking, we are still curious for more. it doesn't matter what your particular fetish or niche is the fact remains: despite the repetition we still want more. doesn't that strike anyone as rather curious in itself?

i mean anything else we would be bored with and just try something else. but with sex it is like a curious addiction we all have. it is similar to the feelings that drug addicts have of course. and it is both psychological and physical. it is a dependency that we cannot escape from. the libido reigns supreme. and it gets worse when you just can't fulfil your physical desires. and i should know. i get laid less than a dead person. it's really embarassing at my age. i get worried about hitting on girls for the fear that they will report me. in england it seems that everyone is so fucking sensitive to what is considered dating and what is considered leching that the two merge and you always have to cover yourself from being seen as a lech. this comes swiflty apparent when you do manage to have sex with a woman and the next morning she gets the whole post-coital guilt. 'oh my god i had sex with that??!?! that can't have been possible. it must have been date rape!' and so on. most english women seem disturbed. well, the ones that i have met definitely seem so.

i remember taking this girl on a date not too long ago and laughed and got along rather well. then after i met her a few more times she and i seemed to click but after we kissed and her friends were nearby she started to act as if i had taken advantage of her! hmmm, not really possible when she made the first move. but alas such are the wiles of some female creatures. this has made me feel quite pissed off with the whole dating thing and so i spend far too long in my own imagination bored beyond belief yearning to meet an exceptionally good fuck buddy with an interesting body and brain. meh.

{ 06:53, 2008-Feb-5 } { 2 comments } { Link }

meh. what a strange year so far.

it's now a year and a half since i last had a proper girlfriend. i feel kind of empty and directionless. it's coming up to valentine's day and well it's kind of depressing. i'm really bored being a spectator of life. nothing good ever happens to me. so boring.

my days are just spent voyeuristically watching other people. i get up, i go to work, i go home, i read a little bit before i get a headache, i go to sleep. start cycle over again. it's a dull little rut but better than when i was living at home. in fact my whole life has been a great big let down. i sincerely didn't think that i would be so lonely and so bored. it doesn't make sense to me.

i've never had money or good things. my parents were by and large idiots with money. and they never really gave a shit about me. i could quite easily have been a nasty piece of shit stealing, cheating, robbing etc but for some odd reason i decided to be worth more than that and tried hard at school etc. unfortunately when you're poor it is meaningless. no matter how hard you try you are going to fail. for in life it is only the rich who can afford dignity and it is only the rich who people bow down to. you can be as intelligent and hard working as you like because the rich fucks in charge will always keep you down by buying everyone off around you. that's why i'm so depressed.

i honestly thought that i would be earning shit loads by this point of my life. not only that but i imagined that i would be married with kids and my own house by now. instead i live alone and have next to nothing. no one is interested in a word that i say and as hard as i try to get my creative projects going no one is fucking interested in them.

it's really shitty that the louder and more obnoxious you are and the more conformist you are the more people look up to you. life shouldn't be that way but due to the systems put in place people are too weak and brainwashed to be anything other than that. the majority of the population will never know anything else. they will watch groundbait on tv and believe that it is quality programming. that it is reality. they will read the mainstream newspapers and believe that the whole cultural and political spectrum exists there. outside of these parameters is nothing. and history? will let's just say the only history they know is their own personal history they have lived through. no connections are made between say, the false flag operations fictionalised in joseph conrad's novel 'secret agent' and the latest one of 911.

it is almost as if people love to be led up the garden path and into shit that they will spend most of their lives trying to get out of rather than just making decent choices.

meh. what do i know? fuck it. the only thing that works in this world is overweening self-confidence, machismo and idiocy. so enjoy.

{ 10:01, 2008-Jan-20 } { 1 comments } { Link }

strangely enough i passed my doorman exams last week.

yes it is true: i am now a qualified doorman. very amusing i guess. one of the guys on the course is a security guard for gucci. cool cat. he teaches ju jitsu in the city. so i'm going to go along to some lessons next week with him. the past couple of weeks i've been learning tai chi which is exceedingly interesting and difficult to get right. just spent hours learning the stance and the walk. good fun though.

this year i have decided to be more outgoing and less introverted. maybe this is for the best. in fact the doorman course was interesting in the way that the majority of it is conflict management to avoid agression and violence. however, all i can remember about the bouncers and doorman i have met is that they relish a fight and never bother to stop the situation escalating into violence. and i've seen many get their asses kicked for that very reason. fools.

so now i'm sending away for my sia badge and can then do some doorwork on the side for some extra cash. hooray!

the other week i came very close to getting a new girlfriend or two. but i've wussed out by not phoning or texting her. doh. and i don't know why. i think i just hate making the effort and would prefer to be so good that she would make all the effort for me. stupid eh? pretty much. but never mind. she was a cute little new zealand girl but i was very very drunk so who knows? and i don't even know if i want anything more than a 'fuck buddy' at the moment. relationships have left me disillusioned. i always seem to want more than what someone can offer. ho hum.

anyway, i've been making lots of collages and sorting out loads of other creative things this year so far. it's been buzzing! so much more so than the whole of last year. things seem to be taking less toll on me.

{ 07:35, 2008-Jan-3 } { 1 comments } { Link }

i had a spectacularly interesting new year.

this time i was in london in some club called 93 degrees east or something in brick lane and part of the guest list by some fluke of luck. saved me £25. hurrah! and the evening was quite thrilling in a weird way.

this shit new band called the horrors were djing in one part of the party and after them kevin rowland from dexy's midnight runners put on a very lame set. however, i spent most of the night in the so-called chill room listening to one of my ex's friend's dj sets. it was pretty good. he even played can for christ's sake so i enjoyed it.

the weird thing was though that my ex decided to dance on this table, looking every bit like some crazy little manga-esque st trinian's doll. within about 30 minutes every other 'normal' girl in the place was doing the same. being rather subdued by all of the smirnoff ices that i consumed i just sat back and voyeuristically enjoyed the sights. one of the best ones included some dumb blonde girl wearing an obscenly short dress that rucked up allowing my own filthy mind to wander up into her nether regions.

but the crown of the evening goes to this beautiful pale little polish girl. normally i stay well clear of polish girls after going out with one so long ago it was a disaster to say the least. but this one was so cute. but it took me until after the party to realise that i should have really tried to get her number. what a fool!

other than that it was a good start to the new year and i realise where i am and where i am not. i also realise what i need to do if i ever want to get laid again on this mortal coil. yep that's right. alter my appearance and attitude on the surface level to become 'appealing'. gah. well fuck it. i have nothing else to lose...

{ 09:27, 2007-Dec-28 } { 0 comments } { Link }

just watched the last ever episode of the uk sitcom 'extras'.

yeah it's really good. easily as good as 'the office' christmas special. ricky gervais turns the whole voyeuristic desperate economy of 'celebrity big brother' into the farce that it is.

the reason people were originally celebrities was for what they were good at: showbiz, entertainment. now it is who they are seen with, where they are seen going and their mediocre personal lives. it's sick. and desperate. why the hell do people want to know the minute details of a celebrity's private life? it's dull and also not what you like about the celebrity. i hate the whole behind the scenes hints of reality. makes my skin crawl.

i keep thinking about what i want in this life. and i have taken the first steps to start achieving what i really want. the funniest thing is that i want to make the avant garde / alternative culture that will stand as a perfect balance to the clumsy mainstream. i want to bring everything that is from underground into something wonderful and interesting to as many people as possible but not to in any way dilute it. that's my dream. to be able to create something that can totally stand on it's own as something every bit as successful if not more successful than the mainstream.

my dear old friend said to me when i shared this vision: 'you know that they just won't happen'. to which i replied: 'anything is possible, it's simple a question of time and planning'. two things that i have in abundance.

i have finally bought the web space for my independent label and i am putting together the ideas in html form to go on there as soon as possible. the website is called: www.instantnowhere.com and is going to act as a complete cultural alternative to all of the shit that the mainstream consists of. my prediction is that it will take a fair amount of time to catch on but once it does catch on it will be so contagious that even the vile mainstream will want a part of it. unfortunately for them they will be denied access and superseded.

there will be no point of me taking any of the ideas to the mainstream as it currently stands because i stand diametrically opposed to everything it stands for. and although a war of words is funny i would prefer to do it in a more interesting manner.

anyway enough ranting as i have a hell of a lot of work to do.

merry xmas kids!

{ 08:33, 2007-Dec-25 } { 1 comments } { Link }

what a weird xmas.

i'm in my parent's new house and everything is so strange. all i've been doing today is playing on the xbox at this football game called fifa world cup 2006. it's addictive you know. in and amongst that i've been reading this book called 'the scramble for africa' and ripping album after album onto my new 500 gb hard drive.

what's on tv? goddawful rot. including the yearly queen's speech. or the queen reptile as we call her. she's soooo old and still in control. bah.

last night i met some old friends of mine. some i haven't seen for absolute years. they've aged and things make less sense now. the same old haunts hold unusually alienating vibes. the only common factor is that they all have girlfriends. except for me of course. but for whatever reason this didn't bother me and all i wanted to do was dance and drink. so i did. and it was fun.

i do love xmas but realise that i've been missing something important for a long long time. and that is stability. and also belief in myself to do something a lot lot better. it's strange but the only time this year when i have actually tried hard to do something was when i have been playing this stupid football game on the xbox. that's sad. when i was at school and even university i would push myself. even when i was doing the pc courses in networking and making pcs. but since then i have just coasted along bored and inert.

and i am finally realising that my problem is that i give up too soon and do not push as much as i should. this goes for work and for relationships mainly. by now i should be earning far more considering my intellect. (ooh you arrogant swine! nah just trying to be realistic)

anyway this coming year of 2008 i will try 100% harder in the areas i want to improve myself. number one is to work harder at tai chi and become stronger both mentally and physically. the next one is to develop more skills so i can get a far better paying job. this should also lead me to find a better environment to meet women on a similar wavelength as me. the thing is that although i don't feel like settling down, i don't feel like sitting indoors staring at the computer screen every day after work. i need to force myself to go out and meet people. i want to have fun in 2008. no silly serious relationships unless it is 50/50.

anyway, happy xmas to y'all!

wakey wakey

{ 11:05, 2007-Dec-14 } { 1 comments } { Link }

i just want to have fun. oh yeah.

tonight i spent some time chatting up some thirty-something women. and it was fun for about 30 minutes then i was chronically bored. gah. remind me never to bother with slightly older women. no point. they think that they know-it-all. boring slags. yeah we're so refined but on comes s club 7 on the radio and out comes the shit dance moves. don't you fucking dare insult my intelligence. just clamp your lips round my cock and enjoy yourself darling.

always seems to happen. i have to work on my routines and my appearance. that is what needs to develop. gah, i have to have sex soon. with someone other than my ex. it's terrible. women are so fucking dull. gah! please god create a woman with a fucking brain cell! is it sooooo hard to do? rather than some moron loving fuckwit what about finding a woman with a sense of humour, sense of adventure, interest, opinion, etc. fucking hell. all i seem to find are the most defensive, repressed tarts imaginable.

listen: i want to fuck and have fun. i don't need to know your shopping trip. it's boring. old and dead. wakey wakey. i put effort into jokes that are funny, ironic, sexy. and what do i get in return? a fucking dead horse not even worth flogging. COME ON!!!

poker

{ 10:34, 2007-Nov-28 } { 1 comments } { Link }

i watched the work's poker games tonight.

never played poker before and didn't bother playing tonight. unless you know all of the rules and know what you are doing there is no point trying. it looks fun though. i was in typical clown mood and ended up just taking the piss out of every situation. other ta that i haven't done much this week. been very dull.

i spoke to my ex recently about what women want cos i really want a new girlfriend. she said it is all about status and power. if a guy seems confident and important with enough money to provide for himself then it goes a long way. at the moment i realise that although i have a fair amount of cash it isn't enough for me to say for instance buy a house outright. which pisses me off. but then i think about the fact that i live in a massive top floor appartment in kentish town, and have to pay no rent, no bills and think about why the hell i would want to buy a house.

the main thing for me right now i guess is to save up just in case some woman finally wakes up to see that i am actually worth fucking. it's a long shot but what the hell.

other than that i do think about getting more money, a better job and to take better care of myself. although the last time i took care of myself no one took any fucking notice of me. it's difficult being a man in these times. nothing makes any sense. everything is too murky. i wish that there was a rule book that every guy had that would initiate him into the gene pool. give it to me now.

when i compare my life to my ex's life it works out so much better in her favour. she can sleep with whoever she likes, everyone fancies her and people genuinely like her. my life is the complete opposite. it infuriates the fuck out of me.

so one of my new resolutions is to take martial arts classes in the evening so i can take out my sexual frustrations in anger at an opponent rather than letting it build up to the point of me wiping out an entire city. this will be easier than trying to get laid on this planet.

creative tomfoolery

{ 12:01, 2007-Nov-25 } { 4 comments } { Link }

been busy this weekend.

helped with my ex on the making of her band's video. i did a lot of the shooting and she did all of the editing. it's a really cool old school soviet style vid. quite futuristic with all of the buildings. i have to shoot my own band's video pretty soon so this has been good practice for me.

check it out on their myspace site:

www.myspace.com/necroluxe

she is the girl in all of the shots. ha! princess narcissistica but the only one who i seem to be able to talk with at the moment. it's a creative person's thing y'know. ;P

another strange thing that happened recently was that i got asked to do an interview for some college radio show about my thoughts on the artist banksy's work. there was a painting he did of a flower on the side of a building in east london and i happened to be walking nearby when i got accosted by this delightful young lady. she started asking me questions about my thoughts on the painting and i said something along the lines of:

it's an ironic painting in the sense that it has been created by following the double yellow lines of the road and painting them up the kerb and then the side of the building to effloresce into what looks like a bright sunflower. in a city where more money is spent on painting double yellow lines to prevent cars from parking on certain roads, than on the arts it is an interesting aesthetic he has created. he has twisted the original use for the double yellow lines into a piece of art work. commendable.

she liked my quote and will be running it in their student rag. the weird thing was that everything i said was completely spontaneous and i had never even thought about the painting before. in fact i'm very skeptical of the whole concept of 'banksy' because his street art sells for a ridiculous amount of money. it is deceptual art as brion gysin would call it. so fuck knows what i was talking about. probably just the fact that i resent having to work at a job where i am treated by the boss as if i am a kid who knows nothing. when in fact i should be doing far more interesting more complicated things to stave off the current level of idiot boredom that arises from my job.

other than that i'm bumming round the house today watching 'lucky you' which is a film i can kind of relate to. i need to get my routines internalised and completely natural. i need to get on a higher level of being. wooooooo. and i need to organise my creative projects to the point where i can make a lot of money from them. then never again will i have to work for someone doing something i despise! hurrah!

thanks for listening. mickey mouse.

{ 10:42, 2007-Nov-22 } { 2 comments } { Link }

i've decided to delete all of the posts on here because they were self-piteous bullshit.

those days are over. tired of the psycho babble.

new life awaits.

remove the dead wood.

This vile ennui

{ 10:04, 2007-Oct-6 } { 0 comments } { Link }

This vile ennui

The earth resounds around the subtle orb of life
Out of the formless void shudders malnourished spirit
Ancient times had real technology
What is kept from our sight today is tomorrow's manna
To whip up a storm from afar
To control a desert and abyss
To place all non-competitive bloodlines within
To pauperise millions through monetary scams
To bring down great depressions on the heads of those who do not count
To clothe nature itself in symbolic godheads
To divest humanity of it's true essence
The RFID chip
The telomerase twitterings
Younger and more splendid the idle slob rich

These are the secret longings of our secret elite
You can trust the amorphous masses to trust in their keepers
Their spiritual overlords
To keep them tame
With images moving or still
With words as cages
With news as lies
With lies as news
Oh what a carve up of the stage upon which we pray
Together but apart
The muslims the christians the buddhists the sikhs
The jainists the gentiles the jews the whores
The gnostics the etruscans the mithrans the modern day scythians
The infected the infested the brain damaged the manipulated
Those who believe in paper over gold
Those who sing songs for the person who pays for the tune
Those who have long since realised what is the illusion
And what is the real
For You Tube and the anti-intellect
For feelings that have vanished and the dross that has taken their place
For bridges that were built lying broken and torn
For centuries of rewriting the historical morass
For plunging and purging of morals and life
For making hate universal wrapped up in love
For modern day stars for modern day rock
Artifacts since rediscovered
Nazca and Manchu Pichu
Giza and Ark of the Convenant
Delirious science discarded and lost

This is the cross roads where we lose our minds
To the small time madness of petty crooks and their kind

So bow down and starve
Shit children
Populate
Selling your sanctuary for crippled visions
The Alpha and Omega
Both end up the same
Neither is true
They are both the same
The game is more amusing the further removed
And strutting your stuff is shambolic and vain

Manipulate
Control
Desecrate
Decay
Suicide

About Me

Friends

slayerbarbie
deadonthesofa
Angiebaby2oo5

Free shoutbox @ ShoutMix